FORGIVE AND TRY TO FORGET
When I got married two years ago, I was in love full of hope and plans of a rosy future. I had all these dreams of how we’d raise a beautiful family in the Lord. I was confident that as a young christian couple, there was no storm we couldn’t overcome.
Hmmm, I didn’t count on negative forces. These days it’s like I married a complete stranger. I have been wounded and hurt to the soul.I have seen every manner of wickedness. From the late nights, to the irresponsibility, to the cheating,to the man who doesn’t care whether his family feeds or not. A dad who doesn’t take care of his son.
I asked God why too many times to care.I had sacrificed all I had for this man and he squandered it all and left me penniless. Why did God allow me make the mistake of marrying such a person. I wondered if he was truly a christian or someone sent to ruin me.
For too long I was bitter, too bitter to pray, I wouldn’t lie to you that I’d stopped praying for my husband, I hated him, my silent wish was for him to meet with misfortune, after all he had abandonned me with an 8months old baby, but then I embarked on the journey;
The journey to reclaiming who I was before marriage. I remembered to forgive that my sins also may be forgiven. Forgive so that I may have peace of mind. Forgive to be free and young. Bitterness is an unpleasant road it turns you into an old hag.For as long as I held on to that bitterness, I was blocking my own blessing and joy, I am 28years old but looked 40.
Today I choose to forgive and try to forget. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that I want to be taken for a fool or treated like a rug. It doesn’t mean I would settle for less than my Father ordained for me. Forgiveness means I choose to submit to God’s will, to accept that yes my husband chose not to provide for us but God did. God has been immensely good to me, yes I have lost all I thought I had but I still have God.
My prayer to God daily, is for the grace to forget. Some days it’s easy on other days like the day you hear your husband’s been in town for a week and hasn’t been home it’s hard. Well, I choose to look the other way, I won’t drown in a sea of bitterness and pain. The day I chose to forgive was the day I found peace and joy.
If like me you are on a journey of pain, choose forgiveness over bitterness, the freedom it gives is sweet, I tell you! I know it doesn’t come easy, it took me two years to forgive and let go but forgive by faith and let God do the rest. Colossians 3:13 says “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.Forgive as the Lord forgave you”. No matter how grievous the crime,God has forgiven us twice as much, so let go.
Beauty and Spice
NB: Ps put me in your prayers, I don’t know where this marriage is heading, I want to quit, I don’t think the environment is healthy for my kids. I just need your prayers as I seek his face.
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