Its been said that attitude is everything. you are not always in control of what happens to you,but you are always in control on how you respond. Your attitude is the only thing you get to control 100% of the time. The bible uses the word ‘mind’ to to describe your attitude more often that it uses the actual word ‘attitude’. However,what you think about leads to actions and those actions lead to habits. Your habit develop your character and your character develops your future. It all start with your attitude or mind. What does the bible say about your attitude?  Matt 22v37

Luv y’all.




Do not judge, let God do the judging.


I used to  be too judgemental. I tolerated very little. I was quick to pass judgement on others. I could hardly understand why people did certain things, I’d criticise them. I was quick to point out their mistakes to them and bad mouth it to others. I didn’t bother to make inquiries as to what was going on in their lives to make them behave the way they did.  I was wrong.


One of the first things I learned in the valley was not to judge. I tell you that under pressure, I did and said so many things that I am not proud of. I could have acted differently, would have chosen to walk a different way, but I chose the way of unrighteousness.


Throughout this crisis, nothing hurt me more than when I heard what people had to say about me. How quick it was for them to judge and condemn me, without seeking to comfort nor to understand me. I heard people call me stupid, foolish, wicked, mean, thief etc, just the same way I had called others before me.


What bothered me most in all this was that, I received the least sympathy from fellow believers. I think the worst I ever heard about me was from fellow brethren. I began to see how intolerant some of us are as believers, how unforgiving we are. I realised that very few of us are willing to stand by a brother through thick and thin. Most times we tend to say “that one! he keeps saying he will change, but does the same things every time”. We are so eager to write off each other. Some of us forgive and do not move beyond that, we do not forget.


These days, I am learning to be tolerant, to not criticise unecessarily. So what if brother X or sister Y lies, steals or is deceitful every single minute, God hasn’t given up on them, why should we? Why do we spend more time criticising and talking about one another, rather than counselling or praying for each other. Walking through the Valley- while I needed God-I also needed the help of his hands and feet on earth, I needed you. I needed you who criticised me, you who insulted me, you who condemned me, you who wrote me off. I needed you to listen to me, to comfort me, to caution me, to pray for me, to hold me, to rebuke me , to bear my burden.


I know that we all know someone going through tough times, someone who seems to have changed for the worst, someone who seems unrepentant. I pray today and ask God to give us the grace to be there for them, to never give up on them, to show them love irrespective of their circumstances.


May God continually bless us, in our quest to be more like Him. May he fill us with his love and aid us as we pour it out into the world. May we all love like him.


Lessons of the Valley IV

Silence is Golden

I have learnt that silence is not a sign of weakness nor does it affirm guilt. In the last two years it has been difficult to be silent. In the beginning I was silent, but I felt my head would explode if I spoke to noone. I decided to confide in a few trusted friends and I felt better and as a result sealed my lips again.

A few months later my husband started spreading terrible tales about me, things I have never dreamt of doing. It hurt so bad, I was mad. My tongue loosened, I wanted to hurt him as much as he was hurting me. I knew he wouldn’t pick my calls so I sent him text messages, bitter ones. I said nasty things, some of which I shouldn’t have.

If he told 30 people tales about me, I told my side of the story to these same people. I was eager for them to see that I wasn’t the wife who didn’t give her husband food, who wasn’t wearing her wedding ring and so on. I wanted them to see that I wasn’t sleeping with my boss and that instead we had prayed that I be transfered (and I was) when my boss started making advances at me. In fact I wanted them to know that I had given my husband my best.

I also wanted them to know that he was irresponsible, that he was cruel and so many other things.

It took me a while to realise that I didn’t owe anybody any explanations, that God would vindicate me. I got tired of explaining , of answering questions and of asking people to talk to him. Talking about him and complaining won’t make him change, only God has the power to do that. The Bible says “He that hath knowledge spareth his words” and the “He that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding” (Proverbs 17: 27-28)

My husband had taken privacy away from our marriage when he moved out of our home and started the false accusations, however I was wrong to follow suite. I was wrong to expose the happenings in my family. Yes the things he says about me are horrible but I don’t have to listen to them and neither do I have to answer to them. There is a time and place for the right words as well as a time for silence. Now is the time for silence.

Today I acknowledge that ” It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think that you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt” Mark Twain. I have decided to keep silent and let God speak for me. I will no longer justify myself to anyone, I will play the fool. I will do my part and let God do the rest. Like I told a friend today, I am done explaining, I will do all my explaining and complaining on my knees to the one who knows it all.

Now no matter what you are going through, remember that only God is the righteous judge, he alone is able to vindicate you. Running to A or B for help will only wear you out, so will running your mouth. Be a fool, a fool for God
“Our dedication to Christ makes us look like fools but you claim to be so wise in Christ! We are week but you are so powerful! You are honoured but, we are ridiculed” (1st Corinthians 4:10). It is better to be a fool in obedience to the will of God than to be celebrated by the world.

Have a blessed week.
Signed; Beauty and Spice

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If you asked me two years ago whom I served, I would have told you Jehovah and no other God but him. It took a trip down the valley for me to realise how untrue this was, I had plenty of gods.

My husband had become my idol, I had made him my everything. I believed in him for the success of our marriage and not God. So much so that when things got rough, I cracked, I broke down in every way, spiritually, emotionally , physically e.t.c.

I now realise how much I had idolised my possessions, my friends and family. When I lost everything, I was at the verge of taking my own life twice. I lost the zeal to live, because nothing mattered anymore. I had failed. Funny how Jesus lay down his life that I may live and I was willing to die for earthly things. Things that are completely replaceable.

Looking back now it’s evident that I needed that trip through the valley. I needed to let go of all these things and to put my complete and undivided trust in God. I needed to rid myself of all these other gods to know Him better.

If like me there’s anything in your life besides God that you cann’t live without ; whom do you trust? What do you trust? Where is your hope? If your answer isn’t God then It’s time to leave behind anything that gets in the way of your loving him with all your heart, soul and mind.

Today, I have decided that nothing will take the place of God in my life, not my marriage, not my kids, neither family, friends nor adversity.”For life is more than food and the body more than clothing” (Luke 12:23). God is my spring, my only source, I rely on him completely as my God.

“You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3)

Beauty and Spice

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When I got married two years ago, I was in love full of hope and plans of a rosy future. I had all these dreams of how we’d raise a beautiful family in the Lord. I was confident that as a young christian couple, there was no storm we couldn’t overcome.

Hmmm, I didn’t count on negative forces. These days it’s like I married a complete stranger. I have been wounded and hurt to the soul.I have seen every manner of wickedness. From the late nights, to the irresponsibility, to the cheating,to the man who doesn’t care whether his family feeds or not. A dad who doesn’t take care of his son.

I asked God why too many times to care.I had sacrificed all I had for this man and he squandered it all and left me penniless. Why did God allow me make the mistake of marrying such a person. I wondered if he was truly a christian or someone sent to ruin me.

For too long I was bitter, too bitter to pray, I wouldn’t lie to you that I’d stopped praying for my husband, I hated him, my silent wish was for him to meet with misfortune, after all he had abandonned me with an 8months old baby, but then I embarked on the journey;

The journey to reclaiming who I was before marriage. I remembered to forgive that my sins also may be forgiven. Forgive so that I may have peace of mind. Forgive to be free and young. Bitterness is an unpleasant road it turns you into an old hag.For as long as I held on to that bitterness, I was blocking my own blessing and joy, I am 28years old but looked 40.

Today I choose to forgive and try to forget. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that I want to be taken for a fool or treated like a rug. It doesn’t mean I would settle for less than my Father ordained for me. Forgiveness means I choose to submit to God’s will, to accept that yes my husband chose not to provide for us but God did. God has been immensely good to me, yes I have lost all I thought I had but I still have God.

My prayer to God daily, is for the grace to forget. Some days it’s easy on other days like the day you hear your husband’s been in town for a week and hasn’t been home it’s hard. Well, I choose to look the other way, I won’t drown in a sea of bitterness and pain. The day I chose to forgive was the day I found peace and joy.

If like me you are on a journey of pain, choose forgiveness over bitterness, the freedom it gives is sweet, I tell you! I know it doesn’t come easy, it took me two years to forgive and let go but forgive by faith and let God do the rest. Colossians 3:13 says “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.Forgive as the Lord forgave you”. No matter how grievous the crime,God has forgiven us twice as much, so let go.

In love,

Beauty and Spice

NB: Ps put me in your prayers, I don’t know where this marriage is heading, I want to quit, I don’t think the environment is healthy for my kids. I just need your prayers as I seek his face.

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Today I will begin posting a six part series on the lessons I learnt while walking through the valley of the shadow of death. I am going to take you on a journey of pain and healing. When trials came my way, I had to survive, to the first blow I responded with the word of God, by the tenth blow, I had taken matters into my hands, I decided to fix my problems myself, I was tired of waiting on God.

I have always been an honest person, I hardly ever told lies, that was my testimony. The last two years however were quite a different story. I had become an expert liar, I let adversity change that testimony. I lied to cover up the one I love, I lied so things would appear normal,I lied to survive financially, I lied to shield family and friends from the truth,I lied to avoid shame. Beyond all these, the real reason why I lied was because I feared man rather than God.

Well I kept on lying and praying, what an irony! I lied hard and my problems got harder. I kept on praying and wondering why God didn’t come to my rescue, why didn’t he hear me. And so I lingered in the valley, instead of passing through, I made it a home, however uncomfortable. I had forgotten that he said in Isaiah 59:1-2 “Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save,nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear”. My feet were rushing into sin, my lips were eager to speak falsehood.

Father I am sorry for allowing adversity get the best of me, I failed you Father, I failed the test. I am sorry Lord. Saviour create in me a pure heart and renew your spirit within me. Help me get back to those days when I was your light. The days of truth no matter the circumstance. I know it won’t be easy, but now oh Lord I can see that I have you. I know now more than ever before that you are on my side. I want to speak the truth no matter how hard.

I have learned my lesson the hard way and to you reading this post, no matter what you are going through, walk through it with truth. The Bible doesn’t lie, that truth will set you free. Falsehood may seem like the easy way but truth will always prevail. Stand steadfast in God’s truth and you will go through that storm with your head high.

Love you all,

Beauty and Spice

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Pouring out my heart

I started this blog with a promise that I would be open and completely honest about my walk with God. So much has happened to me in the last two years and I have had mixed feelings about sharing any of  it with you all on the blog.

Today I sat down in my room and remembered that I always told people that I felt so bad about my testimony because it always seemed so small when compared to what others had been through. I realize now that the trials and temptations of the last two years are part of my testimony. I always longed to be tested and ‘’oh was I tested’’. I am sorry to say, but I doubted, I didn’t trust myself and I didn’t trust God.

Father, I am here to say I am sorry for doubting you, for not trusting you to save me from myself. I am sorry for doubting you could save me from the mess I made of my life. It beats me how I could think that I didn’t matter to you, that it meant nothing to you how much I cried. I just couldn’t believe you would let me go through so much pain and sorrow, I didn’t think I deserved to suffer that much. Daddy I am sorry because you didn’t deserve to suffer so much for ME.

Lord I am saying it is hard, so hard to be both mother and father, it’s hard to wake up all alone. Father it’s so hard to be Fese right now but today I choose to smell the roses. I ask you Father only for the grace and strength to carry on. Father, I need your touch, yes to heal my broken and bitter heart and to give me a new song. Nonetheless I trust in you even as I sing;

What though the way be lonely, and dark the shadows fall,
I know wher’er it leadeth, My Father planned it all.
I sing through the shade and the sunshine, I’ll trust Him whatever befall;
I sing for I cannot be silent, My Father planned it all.

There may be sunshine tomorrow, Shadows may break and flee,
Twill be the way He chooses, My Father’s plan for me.
I sing through the shade and the sunshine, I’ll trust Him whatever befall;
I sing for I cannot be silent, My Father planned it all.

He guides my fal’tring footsteps, A–long the weary way;
For well he knows the pathway, Will lead to endless day.
I sing through the shade and the sunshine, I’ll trust Him whatever befall;
I sing for I cannot be silent, My Father planned it all.

A day of light and gladness, On which no shade will fall;
Tis this at last awaits me , My Father planned it all….
I sing through the shade and the sunshine, I’ll trust Him whatever befall;
I sing for I cannot be silent, My Father planned it a